So, I decided to start blogging………

For several years, I have thought about starting my own blog.  Up until recently, I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to talk about.  I’m one of those people who knows a little about a lot of things, but not everything about anything….know what I mean?  So, I didn’t really know if there was anything I could make an entire blog out of.  However, I love to write and love to communicate with people.  When I mentioned the idea to my now ex-husband a few years ago, he sneered and said, “What could you have to write about?”  At this point in my life, I have quite a bit to say.

My story may unfold here over time.  It isn’t something I want to completely dive into at this moment.  I will simply say that I have been through a lot……….really.  And I have been through the majority of it alone.  But thankfully, I am in a much better place now and have been blessed with great people in my life to encourage, support, and believe in me.  I finally have the confidence to share some of the things I have learned and am still learning on this journey.

So, now that the “speech full of feels” is over, where I wax poetically about all the lovely people I have in my life and being happy to be on this “journey,” what is the actual purpose of this blog?  Why am I doing this?  What is this journey I speak of?

Like some of the best people I’ve met so far in my life, I am recently divorced.  YUCK.  It has not been an easy road.  Again, some of the particulars of my story may be revealed over time.  However, the purpose of this blog isn’t to unload all of my ugly past online.  The purpose is to be to other people going through the hell that is divorce what so many people were not to me.  Let’s face it…..this is something that can only be fully comprehended by someone who has been there.  No matter why you got divorced or are getting divorced, no matter if you were the one who left or the one who was left, no matter what your circumstance, DIVORCE SUCKS, plain and simple.  It affects you, your ex, your children, both families involved, your friends, your neighbors, your co-workers….divorce has an ugly, painful, widespread impact. When you go through such a life-changing event, you need the right kind of people by your side.  That is what I want to be for anyone who needs it.

We’re going to talk about the do’s and don’ts of what to say to someone who’s experiencing divorce.  I’ve heard my fair share of the wrong kind of advice, comments that ranged from well-meaning-but-ignorant to shockingly judgmental (and all sorts of crazy ones that sent my eyes rolling way on up into my brain).  We’re going to hopefully laugh, maybe cry at times, about the ridiculous circus that is the adult dating scene out there these days.  We’re going to talk about how weird (and nauseating!) it feels to be surrounded by couples sometimes and how to deal with that.  We’re going to talk about how to take care of our sweet kids and give them what they need, even when we feel like we’re so spent that we have nothing to give.  We’re going to talk about the suckitude (yes, it’s a word because I want it to be a word) of single life, as well as how your previous relationships may affect your future relationships.  We’re going to talk about that crazy “immediate post-divorce flip out stage” that most of us go through that literally no one else understands.  We’re going to talk about rebuilding your identity and gaining confidence after divorce absolutely breaks you down.  We’re going to talk about letting go of hurtful memories and making new and beautiful ones, while also never forgetting what you’re finally free from.  We’re going to talk about whatever you want to talk about, if possible. 

With only one rare exception, the only people who have been able to really help me navigate this crazy ride are the ones who are either currently experiencing the same thing or who have been there before and are not yet out of touch with what it felt like.  I have actually met people who have been divorced and know how much it hurts, but are so far on the other side of it that they have somehow forgotten how to empathize with those of us who are still in the thick of it.  This seems to be especially true for those who are now in healthy, loving relationships.  That’s okay.  They are just not the right people to help us. 

As for me, I’m still in this thing.  I’m definitely not at the top of the hill, but I’m not at the bottom.  Even though I sometimes slip down a little, I’m on an upward climb.  Though I have a way to go, I feel like I’m far enough up the hill to where I have my second wind and want to start pulling people up with me.  We can climb together.  We can go through the struggle and the pain together.  We can even slip and fall together.  But ultimately, we can get up and make it to the top of the hill together. 

Wanna know why I decided to name this blog “featherly 173” (especially since “featherly” isn’t an actual word as far as I know)?  Stick with me and keep reading…….I’ll explain soon. : )

I am strong.  You are strong.  Let’s do this thing together!